I am not saying I have a problem. But maybe I have a problem.
I am trying to quit alcohol. I've been trying this for years. I do it every time I drink a little too much. I drink a little too much on rare occasions. Now I want to quit for several reasons. Weight loss, saving money, and health benefits just to name a few. The biggest reason is that I don't like relying on it as stress relief. I don't like the feeling of wanting a beer after a long stressful day.
Last year, as I made a move from South Carolina to Tennessee, I broke down. It was from the stress of moving. Finding a place to live. Selling a house. Boxing and moving everything in the house. This on top of the pressure to do well at a new job while being hundreds of mile away from work. Wife and kids. I literally broke down from the pressure. I laid in bed and cried.
I had drank the night before and stayed up a little too late. I had stopped working out. I gained weight that I had lost the previous year. All of that due to stress and not dealing with it well. I now see that working out is an important part of stress management for me. I've lost the weight I put on last summer. I'm participating in a weight challenge at work and I'm kicking ass. I'd be kicking even more ass if I could stop drinking.
At this point I realize I've yet to address how much I'm drinking. Usually around 12-18 beers a week. Most times it's 12. Usually, it's Friday and Saturday. Occasionally, it's on the weeknights. It's not a lot, but I hate that feeling of need. I don't like it as a stress relief because that can be dangerous. I've already been to that dangerous place once.
We're in the process of building a home. There are big changes going on at work. That along with the usual family stuff at home is causing me concern. I've thought about ways that I can deal with this better. I feel like I need to quit drinking. Try to become a more social drinker. One that can have a couple and not feel the urge to go on. I've tried several different tactics and strategies. Some are working better than others. That's when I got the idea that maybe I should try blogging.
I like typing blog posts. It's therapeutic (especially with a mechanical keyboard). There's something calming about writing something. I feel accomplished. My hope is that by writing this post I will hold myself more accountable. My hope is that by writing any future posts I will get the frustration of quitting out of my head and into a blog post. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't. Lets find out.