Pouring out and substituting alcohol

Captain's Log...

I really don't know how to start these types of posts. They're not meant to be depressing. I also don't want them to be too happy. There are others who are struggling with much worse than me.

I didn't drink Friday, but I drank Saturday. I did it because why not. I woke up this morning regretting the decision. Not because I was hungover (only slightly) but because I went to bed late and I got up later. I really like the mornings I wake up from not having drank the night before. Even a couple beers has a different feeling.

I can't seem to capture that feeling when I want to drink. Instead I feel that I want to cut loose. Have a little fun on Saturday night. Adding alcohol to last night's activities didn't add anything. I watched a couple shows with the wife. Then watched an episode of Iron Fist (loving it by the way). Then I played some Overwatch. I knew I should stop at midnight. Instead I poured another beer and then another. It was only as I started to nod off during The Grand Tour that I decided to go to bed.

I poured the remaining beers down the sink this morning. I've used this tactic before when trying to quit smoking. After floating a few packs of cigarettes I finally stopped getting them. I'm hoping I'm close to doing the same thing with beer. This is the second time I've burned several containers of beer.

I'm also trying to reward myself a little. If I can get through a week without drinking, I will by myself a graphic novel or comic book collection. I love reading and I love the Marvel universe. The only movies I go see now are usually Marvel movies. I used to read comic books, but at some point I stopped buying them. I'm hoping that at some point I'll prefer comic books to alcohol.